You can easily (and conveniently) purchase carbon offsets through our web site (http://www.SlightlyOverweightFathers.com/SaveThePlanet,).
How's it work? You go to the web site and enter the precise details about your crime against nature (and unborn generations).
Our handy dandy web calculator will generate a specific tally of your offense and list the amount that you need to pay to bring the environment (and your conscience) back into peaceful alignment.
Once you enter a major credit card and your purchase has been confirmed, we will take measures to reduce our carbon emissions by the amount that you created with your reckless, f-ed up behavior.
How will we do that you ask? The options range from not getting out of bed that day to cancelling plans to have an additional child (thus reducing Co2 emissions). (The actual algorithm is very technical – don't concern yourself with it).
All you have to do is recognize how your selfishness is destroying the planet and then be willing to MAN UP and pay the fee. We take care of the rest!
Details to follow!
